A few years ago I decided that I wanted to be happy, to be really joyful, but I didn’t even know where to start. A couple of big changes had happened in my life, and I just had this feeling that my life wasn’t on the path I wanted it to be on. Sure, I had great people in my life, a great business, fun hobbies, but I just wasn’t happy. And I knew I had to find ways to change that. I found that while happiness and joy feel like they mean the same thing, joy is a much more complex feeling. It is something that’s deeper in our soul. I learned that the way to find your own joy is to find meaning both in the everyday and in our lives as a whole. It’s a matter of being aware of ourselves and deciding on who the person we want to be really is. Finding joy for me meant living as the best version of myself.

The first and most significant thing I changed in my life was putting a value on gratitude, making a very conscious and deliberate effort to focus on the great things that happen every day.

I listened to the wise words of Oprah Winfrey when she said, “The single greatest thing you can do to change your life today would be start being grateful for what you have right now.” So, how do you start? The most important way to start is by writing it down and making a habit of it.

Every morning and every night write down three things or more that you are grateful for. There will be days when you will surely be writing down major achievements for yourself, your family and your business. There may be other days when your accomplishments are not quite so big. One day last week, I wrote down that I was grateful for my family being healthy and safe, being able to spend time with a friend for her birthday and that the sun was shining bright that day. On another day, the most significant thing I could find to be grateful for was that I got through the day without much going wrong.

The point of practicing gratitude is that we can find happiness even when things don’t go our way. I found that no matter what, there are always things to be grateful for, and writing them down holds me to that every day. Now, I’ve never been able to commit to keeping a journal. The company, Intelligent Change, created the Five-Minute Journal that I started with. But now I just use a simple notebook.

Each morning, while waiting for my teakettle to boil, I write down the first three things of the day that I’m grateful for. Then again, each evening when the dogs are out in the backyard, I do the same thing. Making it a habit at specific moments each day makes it easy. And now it’s just a part of my normal routine. If keeping a journal is not your style, there are apps, such as Day One Journal, that you can download right on your phone, and they’ll remind you to type in what you’re grateful for.

A friend of mine practices gratitude with her two small children. She wanted them to start at a very young age recognizing the good things that happen every day. She wanted them to grow into positive people. So, every evening they go around, and each says one thing that was amazing that day. She writes down their family list, and it goes right into a jar. It’s a jar that they get to watch fill up throughout the year as a reminder of how fortunate they are. Learning to practice gratitude was the most important thing I’ve done to change my mindset to be more present and simply to be happier.

A couple of months ago I was spending my few evening minutes reflecting on the day as normal, but this day was different. Just as I was saying to myself, What a great week! My family is healthy, business is great, it was like this cartoon devil appeared on my shoulder to say, Julianne, what are you talking about? You spent two days in bed this week with food poisoning, and then your 16-year-old dog had a seizure and almost died. We can call this a bad week. But just as quickly, it seemed like the angel appeared on my other shoulder as if to say, Yeah, but you’re healthy now. Your dog is doing great, and life is still pretty incredible. And it was that very day that I realized just how much the habit of gratitude had just changed my life.

It was surreal. It had worked. I have trained myself to look at the world differently. I looked through the bad and straight toward the good, and it made me a happier person because of it.

So I challenge all of you. Spend a few minutes each morning and each evening writing down three things that you are thankful for. Because when you focus on the good, the good gets better.

Julianne Hertel, CLTC, from Worcester, Massachusetts, is a five-year MDRT member with one Court of the Table qualification.