What do we do when things go so badly wrong in our worlds that we lose everything we ever had?

Well, that’s what happened to me back in 2005. The world was my oyster … and I blew it!

I lost everything — everything I’d built. My home, my wealth, my career, my ability to earn a living, my confidence and even my own self-respect.

How did I lose it? Simply through my own bad decisions and my reluctance to take advice or accept anyone’s help.

I’m happy to share the story with you, simply because it’s not how I lost everything that matters. It’s how I got back up again, and that’s the part that you might find of some use.

I had one friend in particular who steadfastly stood by me, despite my continually turning away his offers of help. At the time, I was determined to stay miserable and convince myself I was a failure, until the day that he became so tired of me that he threatened to turn away.

Suddenly, I realized that it was time to listen to the people who I had around me. I had people who believed in me more than I believed in myself, people who thought I deserved a second chance.

They gave of themselves, and they gave me their best ideas. They told me of their own triumphs and disasters. They let me learn from their mistakes as well as my own. They asked for nothing in return, only to see me become successful again.

They gave me the courage to believe in myself again.

All of this taught me the power of a friend, a mentor, a teacher and paying it forward.

Today, I run a successful business and have achieved many things that I once thought were out of my reach.

I believe it’s because I’ve had those mentors, and I had the courage to accept the help around me and not think I had to do everything alone.

I also learned that their commitment to me helped them be the best person they could be so that I could be the best that I could be. It was a two-way street. We teach when we learn, and we learn when we teach.

And all of this goes full circle. Now, I’m a mentor too, to an aspiring young show jumper whom I’m helping to build her career with my very own horse! I’d never have thought that would happen!

So, let’s ask ourselves, Who are our mentors? Who do we aspire to be? What kind of a difference could we make? Look around this room. We are surrounded by inspiration. Find a mentor, or find someone who needs one and be one.

Never underestimate the difference we can have on another human being; whether we are the mentor or the mentee, we all make a difference.

Elaine Milne, Dip PFS, is an 11-year MDRT member with four Court of the Table and two Top of the Table qualifications. She runs her business, which specializes in personal wealth management, from Dundee, Scotland. She is always happy to share her business and personal experiences with other advisors with a view to helping them with their own goals and helping others in return.