Brian: Who is helping you become the person you have always aspired to be? You can find your own path to success, but you don’t have to do it alone. A mentor is the key to guiding you down that path. As an MDRT Past President and 31-year member, I’ve had the opportunity to be mentored by the industry greats like my fellow Executive Committee members and Past Presidents Tony Gordon, Marv Feldman and Brian Ashe. In return, I’ve been fortunate to have mentored over 50 individuals from around the globe with a simple goal: help them walk their own path to reach their aspirations.

My wife, Mary, and I, as parents, have had the opportunity to mentor our own children by helping them dream big and make smart choices. Now, with three of our adult children working in our firm, as well as a younger partner and many young advisors and support staff, mentoring is more important than ever.

My son Brandon, one of the rising financial advisors at our firm, is here with me now. We would like to share with you the path we’ve walked, as both mentor and mentee, that’s led us here today.

Brandon: I grew up immersed in an MDRT family. From a young age, I witnessed my father’s motivation and passion for his career. I now know that a lot of this drive was a result of his MDRT involvement and network of colleagues from around the world. As I grew older, I started to grasp the impact MDRT made on him and his practice as I attended meetings and had the pleasure of being introduced to some of the legends in our profession. As a kid, I only knew them as his friends. I knew MDRT as the conference he attended and from where he brought back cool vendor toys. Now, as an advisor and MDRT member myself, I realize that they were more than just friends. They were his mentors and role models guiding him, and MDRT had helped paved the way.

Brian: As a father, it would be simple to lead family members and the younger generation advisors down the path of least resistance. As a mentor, it is crucial to resist. What helped our firm become successful in the first place was the willingness to take chances, experience risk and sometimes feel a little fear. This is best described by Dan Sullivan’s 4 C’s Formula.

The first C stands for “commitment,” the second C stands for “courage,” the third C stands for “capability,” and the fourth C stands for “confidence.” Most successful first-generation businesses in the world start off with the commitment to become successful. The third and fourth C’s, capability and confidence, are something you gain along the way. But it is the second C, courage, where most successful mentors and parents of second-generation businesses tend to fail. They try to make the path easier, causing the second generation to never feel that fear or understand risk. These are the lessons that build the foundation of success. Mentorship is about learning, but, for the mentor, this can be the most difficult lesson of all.

Brandon: When I started as an intern with a life insurance company while still in college, we were instructed to write down our goals for the future. At 18 years old, it can be difficult to set realistic, quantifiable goals. I did, however, learn from my father that the pinnacle of success for an advisor was being a member of MDRT. I knew this internship would set me on the right path, and I couldn’t be happier to start the career I had watched him in my entire life. He made it look easy, and come on — if he could do it, so could I. I quickly realized that an unpaid internship, where we were held to the same standards as the full-time advisors, wasn’t going to be simple. I was calling nearly 250 people in an attempt to set up 15 meetings per week. I think every single person in my town of 3,000 got at least five calls each that summer. Let’s just say I got very used to hearing “No, thank you” or “I’m not interested.” I became frustrated as I was getting little to no traction. However, my father was there to put it into perspective for me. Success isn’t built overnight, especially in this industry. As easy as he made it look, his path to the top was full of obstacles. I remember him telling me that these experiences were only making my axe, or knowledge of the industry, sharper and that one day it would be sharp enough to go to work. So I kept my head up and continued to work hard, and I grew with experience, becoming able to overcome some of the objections and build confidence. The constant push of a mentor was the driving factor here. And the guidance that this was the right path kept me going.

After graduation from college, I worked in the home office of a life insurance company, doing behind-the-scenes planning work for two years. I couldn’t complain; I was getting a decent salary, working 9 to 5 and didn’t have much stress in my life. This job was a great learning experience, but I felt myself getting too comfortable in a position that wasn’t challenging me. I still remember being with my father as he was speaking for MDRT in Taiwan and having the chance to chat with two other Top of the Table members at the same event. They asked me what I was waiting for to become an advisor. To be honest, I didn’t really have a good answer except that I felt I wasn’t ready. Again, I turned to my mentor, my father, who encouraged me to take the risk, explaining that I would never feel ready until I began to blaze a path for myself. It was after that trip that I decided to accept the challenge of joining his practice.

Only a year into joining the firm, I took on my next challenge: moving across the country into the heart of Silicon Valley. I was nervous about moving as I felt the separation from co-workers and mentors would be extremely difficult. However, we have developed the utilization of technology in our firm to keep us connected to each other and also to our clients. My father had encouraged me to find creative solutions to challenging problems for years now, and I truly feel as if I am able to take his advice from over the years and forge my own path.

As an advisor at my father’s firm, I feel absorbed into the MDRT culture and mindset. Every day I read the quotes from the MDRT members I admire on the flip calendar that sits on my desk. I knew from day one that I wanted to be part of MDRT as soon as possible. I wanted to build the network of mentors, colleagues and friends my father had and maybe one day inspire others like they inspired me.

Brian: Watching the younger advisors aspire to build success is inspiring. It gives me hope for this industry and this organization that the next generation does have the commitment to this business, the courage to walk their path, the capability to reach their aspirations and the confidence to try. It takes everything I have as a mentor to not lead them down the paved path but instead to guide them through the challenges we all must face. As a mentor, aspire to be someone who provides this opportunity for others. To everyone else, take a risk, embrace your challenges, and don’t be afraid to allow those who came before you to guide you. You might find yourself at the end of a pretty great path.