If I were to engage the services of a financial advisor, what attributes would I expect the advisor to have? I would expect the advisor to understand my fears, my challenges and goals, to sympathize and empathize with me and to talk me through the most appropriate investment strategy. I would want someone who teaches but does not preach, who challenges me and has my best interests at heart. The job of a financial advisor today is indeed complex.

How can you stand out as a financial advisor? What unique value proposition can you offer in today’s marketplace?

To help you address this challenge, I’d like to introduce The 5 Chairs. These chairs remind us that, no matter how far technology advances in our world, business is still predominantly a human art. In every moment, we make choices about our behaviors and attitudes, which have a direct impact on the quality of our conversations, relationships and business transactions.

Each chair has a color, an animal metaphor, a behavior and a quote and acts as a mirror to help us monitor ourselves. Your success could depend on how you manage these chairs.

Think of one of your clients. You have been managing this client’s investment portfolio for the last six months. Things have been going well when suddenly an important international announcement is released about some dangerous nuclear testing that is happening in the world, and the markets suddenly plummet. Your client calls you and says, “Have you seen my portfolio? It’s a disaster. I want to sell now before I lose it all.”

On hearing this, you have some choices about how to react. Let’s explore the different choices you have using the chairs.

Red chair = jackal = attack

The client wants to sell everything. Fine. If you want to sell, sell. What’s wrong with these people? How many times did I warn them that something like this could happen? There are some risks involved in investing money. Markets are volatile for heaven’s sake. All those hours I spent with them consulting, all down the drain just like that.

Have you ever had any thoughts like that? If you have, then you are in the jackal chair. This is when we get frustrated with our clients and let our emotions get the better of us. This is where we misbehave the most. Why the jackal? Because, at times, our behaviors can be opportunistic and cunning, just like the jackal. It’s the attack chair because we are very quick to see what is wrong with the other person rather than what is right.

Here we tend to blame, complain, gossip and punish, but our supreme behavior is judging. In this chair, we enjoy making assumptions about other people and jumping to conclusions. And sometimes we are wrong. Our thinking and behavior here usually create separation between us and our clients. Mother Teresa of Calcutta said, “If you judge people, you have no time to love them.”

Yellow chair = hedgehog = self-doubt

The client wants to sell everything. I should have known they’d react like this. Why didn’t I see it coming? It’s all my fault. They are about to blame me for everything. They certainly won’t want my services anymore.

This is the hedgehog chair. When we are in this chair, we feel everything is against us. We feel vulnerable, we lose our self-confidence and self-sabotage because we are consumed by fears.

This is a very vulnerable chair. What do we do when our self-doubt arises? Do we give up and give in, or do we look upon it as a challenge and an opportunity for growth? Confucius said, “Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.” We will make mistakes. But when we deal with these vulnerable moments with honesty, integrity and courage, it is an opportunity for us to create deep trust with our clients.

Green chair = meerkat = wait

The client wants to sell everything. Take a deep breath; don’t panic. Markets are volatile. We couldn’t have predicted this. The market is not going to stay down forever, so I need to look at all the different options open to us.

Thomas S. Monson said, “We can’t direct the wind, but we can adjust the sails.” However, before adjusting the sails, we need to get back on an even keel.

This is the wait chair. WAIT: What Am I Thinking? Here we stop and think before we react. We take a deep breath and pause. We are on hold and become curious. We stop judging.

This chair is the foundation of all successful advising and living. The animal is the meerkat, a highly intelligent and vigilant mongoose, very still, very observant, aware and calm.

Blue chair = dolphin = detect

The client wants to sell everything. This is why I do this job. I need all my expertise, my experience and my intuition. I need to guide them and support them. My actions today will show what I stand for as an advisor.

This is the dolphin chair, the detect chair. If you put a mirror in front of a dolphin, what does the dolphin see? It sees itself. The dolphin is a highly intelligent social mammal with extraordinary, sophisticated communication skills. So, this is the chair of self-awareness and self-mastery. I know who I am, what I want, my strengths and my limits. Roy O. Disney said, “When your values are clear, your decisions are easy.”

I know I am worthy of respect, and I am not afraid to command that respect. I am assertive but never aggressive. I do the absolute best for my clients, even if it’s sometimes unpopular with them. I always have their best interests at heart.

Purple chair = giraffe = connect

The client wants to sell everything. If I put myself in my client’s shoes, I’d probably be feeling the same: panicky, impotent, irrational, deeply concerned about my losses. I empathize with them. It’s normal to have a knee-jerk reaction like this. It’s important to stay strong for them and help them explore their own needs.

This is the chair of the gentle giant, the giraffe. It’s the connect chair.

Did you know that the giraffe has the biggest heart of all land animals? This is where understanding and empathy sit. It is where we learn to step inside the other person’s shoes, listen carefully and hold the other person in our presence. It is a chair full of compassion and willingness to see another perspective.

Abraham Lincoln said, “I don’t like that man. I must get to know him better.” This is the chair where we challenge our assumptions and embrace diversity. Our intention is to stay connected to our client.

How can we apply these chairs in our everyday lives? Depending on how life triggers us, we will probably spend some time in all of these chairs. Obviously, the more time we spend in the jackal stimulus response or hedgehog victim mood, the less effective we will be in our roles as advisors. What we are aspiring to is to spend most of our day operating from the three chairs of dolphin, giraffe and meerkat, where we are more emotionally intelligent, more open and rational, more accepting and understanding, because this is where we produce our best thinking, our most virtuous behaviors and build the trust for long-term success.

The 5 Chairs help guide you and your clients to success. If for some reason you are triggered by your clients’ behaviors and your emotions start stirring, just ask yourself, Where am I sitting right now? And, if necessary, move. But never forget that business is still a predominantly human art. So, five chairs, five choices ― let them help you build your road to success.

Louise Evans is a behavioral coach, corporate trainer, speaker, and founder and director of The 5 Chairs project. Her professional journey began in educational organizations offering language and communication training to the corporate world. Her passion for exploring other cultures inspired her to specialize in cross-cultural diversity management and global leadership. Having visited 75 countries, Evans enjoys bringing multiple perspectives to the present moment to help people connect across their differences. She wrote “5 Chairs, 5 Choices” to help leaders, teams and staff model behaviors for more inclusive workplaces.