What’s our objective today as a successful MDRT team member? You want to have high-net-worth individuals as clients. A good way to get wealthy people as clients is to become part of their world, get to know them socially and then transition those social relationships into business when possible. We are going to learn about nine topics.

1. How are you going to dress?

It takes seconds for someone to get a first impression. Your hair should be combed. You should be well-groomed. Your shoes should be shined and in good condition. Your hands should be clean, and your nails should be trimmed. Your clothing doesn’t need to be expensive, but it must fit properly. Dress according to the dress code for the event. For jewelry, less is more. One ring on each hand is about the maximum.

2. How are you going to fit in?

Wealthy people often seem to have it all. They collect art. They drive exotic cars. They own boats. They collect wine. They travel. You can’t compete in all these categories, but you can pick one as your niche. I’m a wine fan. There are plenty of wine collectors in the high-net-worth community. If possible, own a nice car. It doesn’t have to be new, but it should be well-maintained and clean.

3. What do wealthy people talk about?

Let’s look at topics they talk about and examples of questions you might ask:

• Success at work. They talk about their achievements like deals done and promotions. A question you might ask is “How did you put that deal together?” or “How did you make that deal happen?”
• Real estate prices. The question you might ask is “Have you seen that new development near the lake?”
• Sports. A good sports-related question is “Who is your favorite team?” or “Did you see the game on Sunday?”
• Restaurants. A good restaurant-related question is “What kind of food do you like?” or “Have you found any good restaurants lately?”
• Charitable giving. They are attending a charity gala because they support the charity. A good question to ask is “What else are are you involved in?
• Travel. A good travel-related question to ask is “What are you doing for your holiday? Are you going away or staying home?”
• Investments. A good economy or stock market question is “What do you think about the economy now?” or “What do you think about interest rates?”
• Hobbies. Many collect wine. “Have you discovered any new wines lately?”
• Health. Health is a bigger issue as they get older. You might ask, “You mentioned you were visiting the ophthalmologist last time we spoke. How did that go?”

4. How do the wealthy spend their money?

• Vacations. You might ask, “How was your trip? What islands did you visit?”
• Restaurants. A good restaurant-related question is “Have you tried the food? or “How was Morton’s The Steakhouse when you went?”
• Charitable contributions. Suppose they just mentioned the charity is having an upcoming capital campaign. What kind of questions do you think you might ask them? “Does everyone write checks, or do people donate in other ways, like giving appreciated stock?”
• Health. The older people get, the more doctor visits on their schedule. You just learned they got out of the hospital. “How was your hospital stay? I’m just glad you’re out of there.”
• Hobbies. The type of question I would ask is “I know you mentioned you have Château Lafite Rothschild in your collection. Have you ever opened a bottle? I’ve always wondered how it tastes.”
• Investments. They might wonder if the advice they are getting is suitable. They might have a foundation. A good stock market question to ask is “Why is the market going up?” or “Why isn’t the market going up?” One of the ones I like is “What is the best stock you ever owned?”
• Professional services. Questions I like are “What do you like best about your financial advisor? Would you recommend them now?”

5. Ways to build friendships with wealthy people

Now you are transitioning from acquaintance to friend. You are being invited into each other’s lives. You are going out to dinner together. Donate to their charity. They might serve on the board. Research prospects for their charity. This benefits you and them. You find names as potential business prospects. Raise money for their charity. Call on prospects and ask for donations.

6. How to participate in the party circuit

Let’s start with public events. Buy your ticket early. The organizers will notice your firm is sponsoring a table. Pay a little more for your ticket to get listed in the program. As a patron, buy a business card ad and get more visibility in the program.

What about events in people’s homes? Accept as many invitations as you can. Don’t arrive at someone’s home empty-handed. Show up on time, but never early. Mingle with the guests. Get to know everyone. Don’t be the last to leave. And send a thank-you note.

7. How do wealthy people put you to the test?

Confidentiality. They might ask questions about people in common, wondering if they are clients, and they might ask how much money they have. Never reveal anything. When you commit yourself, your follow-through in your personal life shows your follow-through in your business life.

8. Getting wealthy people to trust you

Trust is built slowly over time. Never talk about the investments of others. Someone might say, “I don’t do business with friends because word gets around.” You could say, “We’ve known each other for months. You have never heard me talk about a client. I am not going to start now.” Your word is your bond. Show commitment to your career.

9. What do wealthy people worry about?

• Their health. As they get older, they have more doctor appointments.
• The stock market. Historically, it’s done well, but shorter term, it can create anxiety.
• Their aging parents. Their parents might still be around. They worry about their health and frailty.
• Their children. They might be pleased or disappointed.
• Philanthropy. They have causes they support. They want to leave a legacy.
• Young blood. This ties into their charity work and philanthropy. They and their peers are getting older. They need some fresh faces to take over.
• Taxes. Everyone worries about taxes.

You’ve known your new friends for a few months. You’ve passed the tests, and they trust you. What business questions might you ask that wouldn’t seem too pushy or personal? If the person is a philanthropist and is concerned about whether the opera society is going to be able to raise money from other people, you might ask about what his estate planning is and if he wants to remember the opera society in his estate plan.

If the person has all her money tied up in the business, which is worth a lot of money, you could ask if she’s concerned about retirement. Does she have a path to retirement, a retirement plan that might be set up for the business?

What might you talk about with someone who wants to leave a legacy? If he wants to leave a legacy to an organization, he might want to have a life insurance policy and list the organization as a beneficiary.

Now what have we learned? We’ve learned that dressing well matters, shared interests matter. There are local gateways into the high-net-worth community. Know what the wealthy talk about, how they spend their money, how to build friendships with high-net-worth people, how to do the party circuit, how the wealthy put you to the test, how to build trust and what wealthy people worry about.