Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would be commuting between Dallas, Texas and Tokyo, Japan every month to see my almost 90-year-old parents. The 15-hour flight has given me time to focus and reflect on my life in the United States over the last 40 years.

Starting a new life in a land of opportunity

In December 1980, I landed in the United States to start my graduate school studies. Although I had always aspired to be a diplomat, Japanese society was not ready at the time for a woman with too strong a mindset to take on that task. Two years and a semester later, I completed my master’s degree. I soon married Art, started looking for a job and decided to start a career in this industry.

I still vividly remember encountering the Whole Person concept soon after qualifying for MDRT in my first year in the business. Being young and impressionable, I convinced myself that this was how I wanted to live my life. Being an educator, my husband always tells his students to be conscious of what “tickets” they buy to board the train called life. Choices we make at every turn come with inevitable consequences.

Art and I started planning our lives soon after I embarked on this career. I worked fiercely for three years to establish myself, and we then started our family during my fourth year. Art was working hard to get tenure at his university. He was not only my prospecting coach to drill sales talk in English but also a sports fanatic who taught me the ins and outs of American football. This immersion in the American culture was quite valuable for prospecting among small business owners.

Setting a timeline in life — the first 10 years

After giving birth to our daughter, Erica, I was now a mother in addition to being a wife, a business owner and an advisor to my clients. Art and I wanted to impart our way of life to our daughter. We frequently shared our expectations with her; she has never been afraid of working hard and always aspires to be more successful than her parents. “Showing up is 80 percent success,” we used to tell her. Our family rules of operation were these:

• Art always participated in business planning meetings with my manager during weekends for the first three years. (Understanding and full support from a spouse is vital.)
• Always schedule commitments for family members first; the family has priority.
• Starting at age 4, Erica would always accompany me to Saturday meetings with small business owners at their places of business. The children used to play together while the parents conducted business.
• All three of us would spend two to three hours in my office each weekend to organize for the coming week, followed by grocery shopping. Exposure to the business environment for Erica and then teaching her how to shop led to healthy living.
• I have almost always cooked dinner for as long as I can remember. Dinnertime together meant meaningful family time.
• We shared our financial philosophy and plans with Erica starting when she was 8: “Why we do what we do.”
• We are partners and play active roles in all family matters.

The next 10 years

After 10 years in this business, all seemed to fall into place. By then my assistant of nine years was running the office reasonably smoothly. Erica was in grade school, and Art was a tenured full professor. One day during our family meeting in 1997, I announced that I was ready to get involved in the industry that has given me so much. I was prepared to explore the outside world. I went on to complete the CLU studies in 10 months, and then later qualified for MDRT and every year since. I became involved in several industry organizations and spearheaded projects in the U.S. and Japan. These efforts would last over 15 years. I have learned from countless people and formed meaningful connections that expanded my mind. Thanks to them, I am a better person, mother, wife and advisor to my clients.

The third decade

To still be in this business after 30 years as a woman is rare. My daughter has grown to be a young woman with drive and aspirations. The proudest moment in my life was when Erica told me she had no hesitation in coming into this business if her first passion did not come to fruition. She even assured me that she would be a fast starter and would be successful since she had learned everything from me while growing up. Although she did not join my business, she and her husband are in professional practice.

So, what now?

An unexpected event occurred several years back when I, without warning, had to take over 350 clients from a suddenly retired advisor. It has taken several years to realign business and personal/family priorities. As the COVID-19 shutdown continued, all operations turned remote. Fortunately, we have been empty nesters for quite a while and decided to make space by partially converting our garage into an office to accommodate eight cabinets for boxes of paper files shipped to me from the retired advisor. During 2020 countless hours were spent calling these clients. Because the clients had a median age of 78, it took at least 10 calls before anyone would pick up the phone. And, when the phone was finally answered, I almost always had to shout and repeat to identify myself to them.

One hour of conversation on the phone with this type of physical intensity requires tremendous stamina and concentration. I would do 10 minutes of yoga or dance to uplifting Latin music in between these calls to refresh myself. An amazing statement from my husband was “I never thought you worked, but I do now. You do work hard!” This was after months of listening to my conversations on the phone and the Zoom meetings in front of two iMacs and a Mac laptop all fired up on my standing desk.

To gain trust takes relentless effort, no matter how long we are in this business. One great thing to have come out of this COVID-19 disaster is that my husband and I learned that we enjoyed working in our home together but separately. Our No. 1 focus now is on our 4-year-old grandson. Although days and years of traveling with our daughter to her dance competition or to her high school football and college basketball games are things of the past, we now fly monthly to Omaha to be with our grandson. He is the future. A 4-year-old grows up to be a productive adult, experiencing joys and sorrows along the way. A 90-year-old travels the remaining journey with long memories of joyous times with family and friends and returns to an innocent being. Eventually, only their eyes can tell their untold story. I can confidently say that I have bought the right tickets to board the trains to journey through this wonderful life.