“High net worth” just means human navigating with wisdom. It means that human beings like you and me need to build relationships with people. Navigating means you create positive, impactful, long-lasting and trusting relationships with people.

What is emotional intelligence? It simply means that you have self-awareness, self-regulation, empathy, social skills and motivations.

What is self-awareness? It means that you are aware of your emotions. Are you aware whether you are happy? Are you stressed when you see clients, or are you excited when you see your clients? Depending on how you feel at certain times, you need to be aware. When you are aware, you need to learn how to regulate; that is, you know how to control your feelings. If you are put in a challenging position, will you be able to keep calm? Sometimes, we tend to be very anxious, and we find ourselves in a position where we are unable to even communicate positively to the person with whom we are meeting.

The next thing is empathy. Are you able to put yourself in the other person’s shoes and understand what exactly he is thinking? If your client is in a situation — maybe he’s facing challenges in the office, at home or having challenges with the children — are you able to pick up on that? Can you tell from the things he said? You must learn how to pick that up. It’s so important. And, of course, social skills. We all need to know how to communicate effectively given any situation we are in.

Many times I’ve been asked how I start a conversation with a high-net-worth client. Remember this: A high-net-worth client is just like you and me. We are human beings, except that maybe they have a few more zeroes in their bank account than us. They always like to talk about their successes in life. It’s just that they may not find people they can really talk to, so we happen to be those people that they can talk to.

What do you do when you want to meet high-net-worth clients? You do your homework first. I find them on social media, find out about what they do for business, find out about their families and about their interests. Is there something that you have in common with them? Or you can ask the person who introduced you, “Hey, this friend of yours, what exactly does he do?” You then find out more and are confident to meet him.

Of course, ask open-ended questions. I was introduced to this man. He’s a Chinese businessman who is based in Singapore, where I come from. One day I went to his office. Let’s address him as Chairman Liu. His surname is Liu. I said, “Chairman Liu, again, thank you for having me here.” Remember, you must always thank them for the opportunity. Then when I get seated in his office, I try to do small talk with him. Don’t go into business speak. You need to build relationships, find out what he does, what his business is, how many children. This appointment was very hard. Do you know why? He wouldn’t say a thing. He was looking at his phone every now and then, and then talking to his secretary. I found it so hard to break the silence.

I started looking around his office. It was a really huge, sprawling office with one man at the end. I said, “Chairman Liu, you have a very big office. I can see that you are very successful in your work, in your business. I see so many accolades on the wall. Can you share with me how you got started in this business? What is your success story? Because I’d really like to learn from a successful man like you.” I hit the spot because Chairman Liu really loved to talk about how he got started in the business 20 years ago. He just had nobody to tell. I asked that question, and he freely gave me all the information right from the first day — from how he got started to how he got contracts all over Asia, including Dubai.

When I was in Beijing, China, about three weeks ago, I said, “Chairman Liu, are you in Beijing? We can connect with each other and have coffee.” He said, “I just left Beijing to go to Hong Kong.” I said, “Chairman Liu, I can also go to Hong Kong and meet you.” When we met in Hong Kong, he started telling me all about his business. He switched on his computer, turned it around and showed me, “This is my profit and loss. This is my revenue in different countries.” He actually showed me, without my asking. He was so proud of his revenue. I was like “OK, you’re a good prospect.” Remember, emotional intelligence tells you to keep calm. Don’t be anxious. I said, “Chairman Liu, you have a kid. Do you want him to take over your business?” Since then, he has continued to show me his revenue, the numbers. You need to take that moment and learn to ask questions: What is your succession plan? Who is going to take over your business one day? Do you want your son to take over?

Of course, I found that he has almost no insurance cover. Sometimes, those with a lot of insurance coverage are a lot easier to sell. What did I just create? Trust. When they trust you, they tell you everything.