We all have this inner critic, this inner voice inside of us, that sometimes is not very kind. The reason why this is so important to realize is that what goes on up here impacts everything that goes on out there. [visual] It’s your inner dialogue that determines how you feel. Because if it’s saying, You totally messed that up, you loser, that’s going to elicit different emotions than You got this. It’s your inner dialogue that determines your behavior. I had one cookie and messed up my diet. I might as well eat the rest of the plate versus I’m going to savor every morsel of this.

It’s what you say to yourself that determines how effective of a leader you are. I define “good leadership” as bringing out the best in people to work toward a common goal. Research out of Harvard shows us that happier employees have a 31 percent increase in productivity and a 37 percent increase in sales. What would that do for your business?

The Red Zone is when we experience very high levels of stress. Negative, Red Zone thinking costs you, as companies, over $300 billion annually on things like absenteeism, presenteeism, health care utilization and turnover. You want to find things that you can do when you are in the Red Zone, when your limbic system is hijacking your rational thinking, to get you out of the Red Zone:

Close your mouth. What do I mean by that? Don’t let anything out of your mouth when you are in the Red Zone because that’s when you say things you later regret. And don’t put anything in your mouth because that’s when you tend to consume things you later regret.

Move your body. Exercise. Great thing to do. And it doesn’t have to be 90 minutes of yoga. It could be jogging up a flight of stairs. It could be going for a brisk walk, jumping on the bed, doing some pushups, sit-ups, squats. It releases endorphins to get you out of the Red Zone.

Laughter. We’ve heard that laughter is the best medicine. Again, it releases biochemicals to get you out of the Red Zone. The other day, my teenager was being, well, teenager-y, and I was finding myself creeping into that Red Zone. And before I said anything to her, I excused myself. I hopped on YouTube and watched a couple of “Saturday Night Live” clips. I got out of the Red Zone, and then I started interacting with her, and then I could be better for her.

Use your breath. A dear friend and colleague of mine, Steve Drum, a retired Navy SEAL Master Chief, co-created the Warrior Toughness program that all of the Navy uses. He said one of the ways they help the soldiers get out of the Red Zone, even during life-threatening times, is by using their breath, their box breathing.

Listen to music. How many of you have ever heard a song that you hadn’t heard in years, and it brought you back to that time? Maybe it’s your first love or a vacation or something like that. Music is very powerful on our emotions. A lot of my coaching clients will actually keep a get-out-of-the-Red-Zone playlist of songs on their phone that brings them back to happier times. They like the lyrics. They like to dance around.

Those are the things we want to do to get out of the Red Zone. That’s reactive, but we also want to be proactive, too. What are some things that we can do to stay out of the Red Zone?

Well, you can use a three-by-five. What? If you were in Book Club, you’d understand. That’s a reason to join Book Club; you get in on the secrets. What’s a three-by-five? Not the index card. Three times a day, for at least five minutes, do something healthy and helpful to reduce your distress. And schedule it in your calendar. It’s just five minutes. What can you do? Well, anything we already talked about. You can prime your brain.

How many of you watch or listen to the news in the morning? Research shows that listening to the news for just three minutes in the morning increases your chance of being in the Red Zone by 27 percent. And why is that? When we go from asleep to awake and awake to asleep, we are in a very suggestible place in our brain. Our brain is actually in kind of a hypnotic state. That’s where the brainwaves are, and so we are absorbing more information. Our subconscious is absorbing it. So, what are you doing when you first wake up? Are you grabbing your phone and looking at your emails and going right into the Red Zone? Let’s stop doing that. Prime your brain for positivity.

Gratitude. What are you grateful for? Whom are you grateful for? Sometimes before I get out of bed, I just think about gratitude. I’m grateful for a particular friend, a conversation I had, my bed. It’s such a comfortable bed. My four-legged child who sleeps with me starts at the corner and always ends in the middle of the bed by the time I wake up. But I’m so grateful for my Bailey. So, gratitude can be one thing.

Meditation. How many of you meditate? How many of you have tried meditation and failed? Here’s the thing: The only way to fail meditation is to fail to engage in meditation. A lot of times people say, “Oh, man, I’ve tried meditation, but my mind wanders.” Does that ever happen to you? Do you know why that happens? Because you are alive. Yeah, and we like that about you. The mind will wander. Even those monks who meditate for 10 hours a day, their minds wander. It’s just the way our brain is, so if your mind wanders, just come back to whatever you are focusing on: your mantra, your breathing, the guided meditation that you are listening to. Meditation can be key, and I’m telling you, even just five minutes on a regular basis is going to make a difference for you.

Spend time with loved ones. And make sure you want to be with them. During the pandemic, I heard a lot of “I married you for dinner, not breakfast, lunch and dinner.” So, make sure you want to be with them, being mindful, being present. So much of our time, when we are in the Red Zone, is focused on what happened in the past. How many of you like to replay over and over again mistakes you made, arguments you had? That happens in the Red Zone. Or we are fretting about the future. But to stay out of the Red Zone, we want to be very mindful, very present.

As one of America’s most trusted celebrity psychologists, Dr. Elizabeth Lombardo uses her insight to help people silence their inner critic and achieve success, purpose and fulfillment in their personal and professional lives. She is a regular contributor to the “Today” show, “Good Morning America,” “Dr. Oz,” Forbes and The New York Times, and her bestselling books, interactive online training and keynote presentations offer proven methods for optimizing success.